What did i do today? Saturday, August 26, 2006
Think i am hit with an identity crisis myself, not in terms of my acadamic goals, because i have long planned what i want to do. What is it called? Pardon me but i am not good with words. To me, i guessed its so called my social being. Yes, i know i am lousy in my social skills as well, neither am i good in talking. My dear friend always said that i am always talking rubbish. In the past, you didnt like me to be that super quiet because it was boring, now that i started to talk, you said that i am always talking rubbish. It is your expectation of me or is it i really make no sense to you? Quite hurting, but it doesnt matter, i am not offended because i know that i am still trying. There is a limit though, as the saying goes, 'you cant please the whole world'. There are bound to have people to dislike you. Not that i am demanding attention from people, but if i am solely thinking that i dont need people to comment on me, i wont be able to grow because i limit my social boundaries. There is a certain balance in it, perhaps, the number of people who likes you has to be greater or equal to the number of people who dislike you?
Sometimes i really dont know what i want to do about social relation between people. Do i want to improve it or do i just want to let it cease? Do i expect a lot from people or do people expect a lot from me? If so, am i doing it up to their expectation? This is rather pathetic, 21 years of age and yet i cant distingush between different expectation of people. Yes, i am trying still. After the second lesson of effective communication, i learnt about self-perception and self-esteem, which are used to find out our self-concept. I find myself still quite the normal happy-go-lucky person and often is the relationship between people puts me down. So there is problem identified. Social interaction. Its only a pinch full numbers of people who are always putting me down. Yes, because in the past i have did something wrong to them, i tried to improve, now i could only say let nature takes it course. If you are worried that i may sound very negative, dont worry, i am fine, seriously, i just want to evaluate on myself, my self-esteem is still, somewhere there. *Haha* Just that i want to improve on those relationship that i still think there's hope of reviving it.
My friends here, mainly would be ZH and LP liaoz,(since they always read my blogs) can you tell me what kind of person am i? This is more like a self-reflection for me, so that i could improve on myself. It would be of great help if you could comment. I would be able to communicate better with my comittee members as well.
Just an update, went to meet my camp Bro and sis-in-law yesterday at LPS. Driving car liao.*Haha* He felt a bit our of place because his other friends rode bike while he drives. Nothing wrong with giving sis a more comfortable seats when travelling. There after was Samuel's birthday, (someone whom i dont even know, a friend's friend) Wishing him a happy birthday before i hit the roads and went home.
Shades of black and white
8/26/2006 01:17:00 pm
The most colourful one would be you